Unless you have been living your life as a hermit or been cryogenically frozen sometime before 2012, you have probably heard of Tinder.
Maybe when you hear the name, the little red and white flame logo pop up in your brain.
Even those who have never used it get the gist of its intended use.
It is an extremely successful dating app that allows you to anonymously look through others’ profiles and swipe right if you are interested in them based on a short bio and their pictures or swipe left if you just aren’t feeling them.
Some dating websites, such as Match, are more commonly used for finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life enjoying. They normally tend to attract people who are looking for a serious connection. Someone who is possibly seeking the person that they would deem “marriage material“.
That is not the case with The Tinder App.
The majority of people who install and browse through the app are not looking for that special someone, but that special hookup (if they tell you differently, they are in severe denial and you should monitor their mental health). 🙂
Or at least that was my mentality. Hey, us ladies need to get laid too!
I’m all for stellar solo masturbatory sessions, but sometimes you just get in the mood for two player games.
When I signed myself up for Tinder, love wasn’t even on my checklist of qualities I was looking to find. Men, in general, were kind of on my shit list, but hey, I was horny. I was also, somewhat annoyed at the necessity of needing to find a penis owner for a casual booty-call.
Often that night I cursed the universe for not letting me be a lesbian.
I suppose my swiping that fateful night was controlled more by my vagina than my brain. She was the one who told me to install it after all.
Fussy bitch…
Finding My Match…
After a while of swiping this way and that, I was matched with a deviously handsome fellow, covered in tattoos and smiling with kind eyes. It took no time at all before we exchanged phone numbers and began texting and the occasional late-night phone call.
Shortly after getting to know each other, we decided to meet up that weekend at a hotel.
I know what you’re thinking. So not safe to meet up with a stranger, right? I was in the market for some man meat, but I didn’t want some creeper turning my skin into a DIY lampshade either.
Well, I did the best my horny ass could. I sent my mom a picture of his driver’s license, and our hotel information, including room number and phone number.
Driving over to the hotel, making my way through the lobby, riding up the elevator, and then finally knocking on the door were all highly anxiety-filled events. It felt like a marathon of excited anticipation and dread. Like what in the hell am I doing meeting some random at a hotel? That’s so not me.
Meeting This Sexy Match Man…
I knocked on the door holding my breath. As it opened we came together in an instant hug, and somehow automatic kissing, before even holding an in-person conversation.
He had brought a bottle of wine that he knew I liked from our getting acquainted texts. It sat on the coffee table, and he had a Harry Potter marathon playing on the big flat screen across the room.
I couldn’t help being amped up and nervous. I’m normally an introverted individual who despises meeting new people. Given the situation though, interacting both physically and conversationally was much easier than I would have guessed.
Obviously, we had sex. Multiple times… condoms included. No glove no love, guys!
Sex was great, but I genuinely liked spending time with him and the feeling was obviously mutual. We talked the whole time we were awake and not bumping and grinding, and snuggling, while we slept, came naturally.
We agreed to make our meetings a regular occurrence. Casual and comfortable. Some gentle BDSM on the weekends. What’s not to love?
Yeah, that didn’t last long. We had a hard time saying goodbye when the weekends came to an end.
My Manly Match and I now…
We live together and he is honestly the best friend that I could ask for.
Looking at his outside appearance you would never guess that his big tattooed ass would be a nerdy little geek like me inside, but we fit together seamlessly. We never have actually had an argument although we disagree on plenty.
Our personalities just kind of seem to fit. We clicked.
We do have sex quite frequently. I tend to get sick very often, but when I’m not we fuck like bunnies.
Plus he has taken on one of my hobbies as his own. I test sex toys and then write reviews on them online. Thus the website you are visiting right now! Occasionally, I write about other sex-related topics (like this lovely article).
So, the key to finding love on Tinder?
Have amazing physical chemistry, be a crazy kind of similar that you wouldn’t have expected, and go in only looking for a piece of ass. 🙂
(Yes, that is supposed to be a joke).
It doesn’t seem like it would work, but that is how I found my love. I was looking for a nut and found my heart instead.
