Calming My Tiny Tits

When I was younger I eagerly awaited the glorious day I would develop into a curvy woman. I got my ride on the cotton pony at an earlier age and thought that surely my physical maturity would soon follow. I even received the advise from my aunt that green peppers would help my boobs grow, so I would eat as many as I could anytime the opportunity arose. After a few years of course I realized this information was false, and she was in fact just trying to get me to eat my food. Thanks Aunt R.

For years to come I would suffer hearing the infamous itty bitty titty committee comments and have my barely existent bust compared to mosquito bites on a ridiculously frequent basis. From middle school all the way until my late twenties I felt that I needed to wear a padded bra just to feel somewhat feminine. There was even a low point in eighth grade where I decided wearing a water bra was a fabulous idea. It really wasn’t.

Most women who lack in the lady lumps department find they have larger breasts after having children. Although, my chest-ticles did increase in size, it was short-lived. As soon as I lost my baby weight my bra size would plummet, leaving me with what resembled purple rays of sunshine radiating from my nipples. However, I’m lucky that my skin has done an amazing job repairing itself. My stretchmarks took little time to return to flesh tone and although my boosom expanded greatly and then shrunk, I’m left with no sagging. Thankfully, three kids and many moons later, they still look similar to how they did in high school.

Realistically, the main reason majority of women want bigger fun bags is to appear attractive to potential partners (although, filling out a cute top would be amazing too). With the exception of one egotistical asshole, I have never had any negative comments from a sexual partner about my physical attributes.

In my experience, men seem to be fine with a smaller treasure chest as long as they get some booty. One downfall, however, is definitely the lack of attention paid to such a sensitive area. Seriously. Even if a man isn’t a prick and making you feel self-conscious, lack of mammary meat can mean a lack of foreplay and total skipage of second base all together. Even if our twin peeks aren’t enormous, they still require attention. They still desire arousal. It would be the same thing as a man with a small penis. Even though it’s lacking in size and girth, I’m positive they would still want it touched or in someone’s mouth.

If I could magically get the sweater stretchers I’ve always longed for without having to undergo surgery and pay for them, would I? Absoutely. And augmentation is an option that I may one day choose to revisit. For now I plan to accept what I’ve been given and just be happy that they’re not big enough to go anywhere.

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